there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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