just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize