I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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