Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
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