Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
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We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
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