the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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