Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
