Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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