You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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