I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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