I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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