and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I wear drunk well.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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