I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
