Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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