google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
