okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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