They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
