She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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