pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My nipple is on Facebook.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
