i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
