It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
