Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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