Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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