Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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