He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
