make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
