with your own penis?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
