they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
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I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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