I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
