I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
