we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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