Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
