tell your sister to shave her snatch
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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