The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
