Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
