let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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