You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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