Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
