hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
