how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
