We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
