my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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