i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
