I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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