Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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