Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
