We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
