he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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