I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize