Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
