I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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