Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
