Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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