She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
