he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
