and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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