Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My dick has a subreddit
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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