Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
