Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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