I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
