Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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