# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
