I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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